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FRIENDSHIP - emotional cuddles; attention; part seven (07)

Complimenting a well dressed person (especially ladies that put effort into it), appreciating kind gestures, celebrating friends on media (birthday and likes), informal phone calls, text messages without special occasions, leaving encouraging comments on posts and articles that bless you, being generous with smiles, not taking people's needs foregranted etc. are all examples of giving attention which many neglect. Attention can be seen as innocent emotional cuddles and nobody was created too BROKE to PAY attention. Enjoying attention may be more obvious with ladies but even Adam needed it. Every single person needs attention.


Love could be defined as friendship set on fire but attention is one of the very cores of friendship. Attention is the rarest and purest form of generousity. It feels amazing to have someone's undivided attention, yet it's so easy to give less attention, without knowing it, to that one person we love or who loves us more than anything else. Attention is a sign that you care about your friendship with another person. It's selfish complaining no one sent you a seasonal message at a certain period without you sending to others; maybe the person has a right to complain you didn't send either. You musn't be the one being called all the time; why not put a call through to your friends/friend. You saw nine missed calls and it means nothing to you ( feeling If it's really important, he/she will call again), late replies to chats without explanations not to talk of no replies at all, one-one word chat messages when the other person is sending sentences etc.

Though one person can make a difference in improving the overall quality of the friendship, it is built on joint activities and common interest. Best friendships continue to thrive because each person makes their partner's needs just as important as their own. ''Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager'' - Susan Sontag. Giving quality attention is a gift from you to others and not for trade by barter. It's a character of those that influence lives. It's a virtue built on patience. He who desires to make friends must show himself friendly except you don't want to be friends with a particular person.

Love can be really painful but even more painful is when you are trying to stop it. It's so hard to pretend not to love a person when you really do. Authenticity always encompasses risks. Love's labour never gets lost; it just finds its way to places we fail to see; every experience is meant to make us better persons, if not, then the process you passed through becomes a waste. Love is a gift; loving someone over time only becuse you want something/love in return becomes a business. Years/time spent in stuffing emotions of desire without communicating it can backfire as emotional attatchment. Years of stuffing grief without facing those uncomfortable issues can backfire into a negative cycle of relationship.

The fuel of communication can be seen as attention. Clear communication can easily become priority if their isn't a need to hustle for attention. Receiving attention gives a welcome feeling. Over time it can build openess and freeness in the sphere of communications which enhances trust and connectivity. Attention attracts pure affection of love. A kid is easily drawn to his/her mum because of her attention which stirs affection. Some kids tend to love their dad more as they grow because he succeeds in paying attention to an area of their lives that suits their needs with respect to love language; so knowing the love language of your friend is an edge for better friendship since it gets you atuned with their needs, wants and desires the more.

As long as humanity is concerned, there's no different tribes without elements of similar vibes. No matter how different the genders, we can still have the same agenda. We shouldn't take advantage of our differences to invite hatred. Be quicker to listen and think than you are to speak. Patience builds far more than it repairs. Words either build emphatic bridges or create waste lands of distance between friends. Consciously give room for attention, to ehance healthy communication.
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