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AN EMOTIONAL LETTER WORTH READING


TO THE MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but all about "I'm sorry". Love is not about "where are you", but all about "I'm right here". Love is not about "how could you", but all about "I understand". Love is not about "I wish you were", but all about "I'm thankful you are."
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TO THE ENGAGED
In your resolved to go into this perpetual emotional journey together, remember, the true measure of Compatibility is not the years spent together, but how good you are for each other. Try as much as possible to work it out, it's one of the best feeling in life. It's worth it.
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TO THE NOT-SO-SINGLE
Doing emotional "interview" by having numerous partners in order to pick the most "qualified candidate" does not work most times. Stick with someone your heart and soul yearn for, not the one your eyes search for. Love is not about becoming someone else's "perfect person.” it is about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.
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TO THE "I'M-IN-LOVE"
Love sometimes is not all about happiness, but sacrificing your happiness for someone else's weaknesses. It won't be smooth sailing just like the day you both agreed to go into a relationship, so be prepared to make symbiotic sacrifices for that ultimate goal - marriage. Reduce online "advertisement" of your "boo", most times it's detrimental, if things didn't go as planned and as thought, you will be the hardest hit and you might even be converted to a "case study". Activating "in a relationship", "engaged" and "being toasted" button on Facebook might generate little comments and "likes", but will affect you more if you change the button in the future again to "Single". Learn to keep important things in your life secret until they are obvious to others, wait till after marriage, then you can convert your Facebook page to a photo album, but until then, wait!
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TO THE SINGLES
Love is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just patiently wait, it will come to you when you least expected it. Love will give you the best in life and glow your spirit only when you give it to someone who is really worth it and can reciprocate it. So take your time and choose wisely.
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TO THOSE SEARCHING
It’s cool to search for your soul mate. Soul mate in this case doesn’t mean sameness but harmonizing unique different interests and values. Like a positive and a negative that always attract. A unique Adam and a unique Eve that attract with harmonizing values. Searching for someone who thinks, behaves, dresses, eats, drinks, sleeps, dances, walks, reads, feels and likes all the same things as might work in a Nollywood or Hollywood, but not exactly in reality because it’s an unhealthy type of relationship that grows out of unresolved insecurities. When your partner's thoughts, feelings and behaviours mirror your own, you're validated by the illusion of sameness and it's a way of avoiding uncertainty within the relationship. Eventually, when there is a difference of opinion, you feel threatened. Before you know it, you begin to doubt the relationship, and may even think your partner is a fake. Rather than kill off your relationship by expecting your partner to think, feel and behave the same way you do, celebrate the differences and make yourself open to diversity. When you do that, your relationship becomes an exciting journey of growth and self-discovery.
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TO THE HEARTBROKEN
Nothing lasts forever. Heartbreaks last as long as you want it, and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks, but how to learn from them. Though most times, it's difficult to let go, what will be will be; if you are meant to be together he/she will surely come back, but if not, there's no better option to choose do than moving on.
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TO THE NAIVE
The answer isn’t necessarily in reading love stories, watching love movies and listening to love songs; most of the authors of love books are either divorced, or having issues with their unions, most of the singers of love songs are not even in relationships, and most of the actors and actresses in love movies don't even believe in love because they have either not experienced it or have been "dealt with" in the past. Therefore don't believe all you read, listen to or watch. Take my simple advice; grow in love but don’t stumble, fall in love but don't tumble, be consistent but not too persistent; better be a desperado than a “desperato”, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to be too demanding, get hurt, but never keep the pain.
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TO THE POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. Don't be too attached. Don't give your happiness to your lover, give yourself much joy, your happiness should not be dependent on your partner. The phrases and statements like "She is the joy of my life", "He is the reason why I'm breathing", "Without her I'm worthless", "He is my world" etc are not practical. Nobody can give you better joy than the one you create for yourself. Nobody is your world, you are your own world. Yes, love increases your happiness, but the key to your happiness and joy is in your hands. Don't hold love too tight so that it doesn’t get choked.
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TO THOSE AFRAID TO PROFESS AND CONFESS LOVE
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel. Tell him/her how you feel, he/she might just be waiting for you to talk. Nothing stops a woman from approaching the man she loves but with wisdom and great precaution not being desperate. The world has gone beyond "rural" emotion. If you love me, tell me. It’s not a bad idea too, if the reason guys propose is the prior pose of the lady.
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TO THE CHEATS
Behind every untrusting girl is a boy who lied, cheated and broke his promises to her. Behind every untrusting guy is a girl who toiled with his heart. I'm not encouraging infidelity, but don't let us be too quick to judge; all the same, one thing the cheats need to know too is that, they are not doing anyone any harm but themselves.
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TO THOSE CHANGING PARTNERS
Sometimes within you, you feel justified by changing partners like clothes just because of few amendable "sins" that you too cannot even exonerate yourself from. You may think you are still young and beautiful, but think about it, having a destination and knowing what you want before boarding a taxi will help in avoiding the situation of changing taxis severally for flimsy excuses before getting to your destination. Relationships are not meant to be projects, if you are spending all your time repairing, fixing, upgrading and changing, please have a second thought. Besides, you are not getting younger, every minutes of your life counts.
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TO THOSE AFRAID TO INVEST IN LOVE
My friend once told me that a successful man is one that makes more money than his wife can spend while a successful woman is one that finds such a man. The truth in this might not be absolute when it stands alone but the uniqueness of this truth is visible when money sweetens the already existing love. If love is the garri, trust the water, then money is the sugar that makes the drinking very pleasurable. Just like business, love itself needs investment before it can grow. All the hype about "She no want Designer", "She no want Ferrarri" stuff are pure slogans. Love without "financial empowerment" no matter how little easily shrinks with time. So please invest in your partner and you will reap the reward of your investment. Love alone is not enough, add money to it and see a better result.
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TO FRIENDS
My wish for you is a man/woman whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-ending, never-changing and ever - abiding in God's love.

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