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HUNGER FOR SEX - the 'order' room (14)

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Susan remembered a question she asked Lilian, ''So, what do I do to the fact that Dave's cheating on me?'' ''What makes you think that?'' ''He's lost interest in me sexually'' ''How?'' ''The last two times I tried initiating sex, he kept giving me flimsy excuses and I could read it in his face that he was telling lies'' ''Maybe he wasn't just in the mood'' ''It's a lie... The Dave I know is always in the mood'' Lilian smiles,'' You see, I actually want sex more than my husband does; before we came to have a mutual understanding, he often came up with excuses of a headache etc. He felt it easier that way for me to accept it than telling me he wasn't in the mood. As for me when it comes to sex, what matters is how I feel about my looks, my body, and the kids but for him, it’s more how competent he feels; how well he does at work e.t.c. The truth is, men are not always interested in sex as you're thinking it to be; they too are affected by their moods, and are more or less interested in sex depending on how they feel about themselves.'' ''Ho, I see!' Susan says with sarcasm as Lilian continues, '' Sometimes, when he feels depressed or is stressed and tired, He’d rather just sleep. And when he's not interested in sex, it often makes him feel like less of a man. For a man, identity and self-esteem are more linked to sexuality than for a woman.''
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Lilian gripped Susan's shoulder gently, '' You need to speak to Dave about how you’re feeling, so you can help one another find a balance. When you’re in the eye of the storm, it seems impossible to find a way out; not until I took out time to talk with my husband, we really had issues. Whatever it is, open the conversation, without blame or defensiveness and reveal how you feel and start talking about what turns you on and what turns you off. The 'OTHER' room should work hand in hand with the 'ORDER' room; two important rooms you make out of your bedroom. The ORDER room is where you set things in order. It's the place where a couple makes prayers most; a prayer alter where God is worshiped and reigns; where individual/united prayers and random/structured prayers are made. A boardroom for strategy; place of sharing ideas and reasoning together about plans for the family. A confession booth where secrets are said and kept. The place where you feel safe to tell your partner anything and everything. A place where forgiveness never runs out. A fortress of refuge to run to for protection when life, in-laws etc. bullies you. A place of support when you are stressed. A massage parlour where your body can be rubbed and oiled to ease tension; place of relaxation to soothe each other after a tough day.''
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"What's more important - the issue you're fighting about or the marriage you should be fighting for?" "My marriage" ''So you go back out there and give your husband all the respect you can, all the attention you can and a mind blowing sex. He'll enjoy your well prepared sex than your well prepared food even if it's his best meal. The best recipe I have for you w.r.t. serving him sex is passion; so better let Dave see a passionate desire for him in you. Aha! Don't forget to offer up a sexy debrief the next morning. Men love to hear what you think of the last experience. Talking about sex is almost like having sex. It's also an opportunity to suggest ways that will make it better for you.''
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Susan's mind is finally intruded when David drives into the compound. Susan had spent most of her time in the bathroom and in front of the mirror prepping herself to look just perfect for David's arrival. ''What a lovely Friday'' she says as she gives herself a satisfying grin.
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