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HUNGER FOR SEX - summary (19)

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Not one passage of Scripture teaches that sexual arousal is sin. Not one passage of Scripture teaches that sexual imagination is sin. The scriptures teach that covetousness(which is lust) is sin.
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It is a biological fact that the same area of a man’s brain that causes hunger and gives pleasure from the smell, sight and taste of food is the exact same area that gives a man pleasure from the smell, sight and touch of a woman. Let me use an analogy I once stumbled upon:
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Assume a woman to be a plate of steak at a restaurant. You walk in and see this guy’s plate of steak who is sitting across from you. It smells good, it looks good. It makes you hungry. You can’t afford the steak today, you have to get the hamburger instead, but you would really like that steak he has. You imagine how great that steak would be to eat. Up to this point the sin of covetousness has not occurred (critically compare this to stage 5 when you get to the two illustrations below. Prov 4: 23 [NIV:Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.]) But then he gets up to go to the bathroom and leaves that steak on his plate while he is gone. He only took a bite or two, it’s still hot and fresh. You start thinking of how you could go over to his table and quickly cut off a few pieces to eat for yourself. That is lust, that is covetousness. If you actually act on your covetous thoughts about his steak and take a few bites out of another man’s steak that is now theft. If the steak were a woman, that would now be adultery. The point is, until you purchase the steak(marry the woman), her body does not physically belong to you. So it would be wrong for you to actually possess her body, or even plan and scheme how you could just get a “bite” of the steak without first purchasing it.
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the situation of lusting after a married woman.
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1. A man sees a married woman.
2. He notices her form and her beauty.
3. He is sexually aroused by her form and beauty.
4. He begins to wonder what she looks like naked.
5. He imagines himself having sex with her.
6. He begins to think of ways he can flirt with this married woman with her, to befriend her, and eventually get her to emotionally connect with him, and eventually commit adultery with him.
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Only step 6 is Biblically coveting a married woman, or in other words lusting after a married woman.
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Now lets discuss the situation of lusting after a single woman.
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1. A man sees a single woman.
2. He notices her form and her beauty.
3. He is sexually aroused by her form and beauty.
4. He begins to wonder what she looks like naked.
5. He imagines himself having sex with her.
6. He begins to think of ways he can flirt with her, to befriend her, and eventually get her to emotionally connect with him so she will marry him and then he will have sex with her.
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Obviously a single man does not marry a woman just to have sex with her, but that is a big factor in a man being drawn to woman. None of these steps would be sinful, or lustful for single man with regard to a single woman.
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But what if we changed step 6 to this:
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6. He begins to think of ways he can flirt with her, to befriend her, and eventually get her to emotionally connect with him so he can get her to sleep with him outside of marriage.
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Again only if a man thinks in his mind how he might get a woman to have sex with him outside of marriage – is this covetousness and lust.
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You only have to get your heart broken once to wonder why the opposite sex exists. Not all species need both males and females to reproduce; Protozoa reproduce asexually, dividing themselves into two identical copies. Unlike humans that have a two sex system, some species of mushrooms have about 36,000 sexes. Humans have two unique sexes; man and woman, male and female, Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, nor Eva and Eve. Sexual awareness has always existed. It is natural in the human mind. A young teenage boy may get an erection when he happens to catch a glance of a girl’s cleavage. A young boy may have a sexual dream about a woman. A young boy may have a fantasy while awake about a woman. Rather than trying to stop emotions, learn to control them. Fire is wonderful if it’s in the fireplace or the furnace to keep us warm or if it’s used for cooking, but fire can also be destructive when flames are out of control; so also is sex and our sexuality. Anything can be abused; for example, hunger and the pleasure from eating food is something God built into men and women. But this same hunger for food can be abused and then it can become gluttony. In the same way we cannot allow ourselves to become obsessed with sexual pleasure to the point that it interferes with intimacy in our marriage, or other areas of our life. Food no matter how appealing is disastrous to us if it is poisoned and poisons us rather than nourishes us, the same goes with sex. In as much as we can't stop sexual emotions, we have the ability to control them. Learn to control your sexual urge.
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It's not a crime to be aroused by an opposite sex you suddenly get attracted to. Rather than condemning yourself for any sexual thoughts you have which isn't against God's relational standard, why not embrace the fact that the ability to have sexual imaginations is a gift from God. The enemy is not your sexual imagination, rather the enemy is lust which is covetousness. [Math 5: 27, 28 ~ AMP: But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a woman with evil desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.] in context is clearly talking about a married woman. While the act of physical sex outside of marriage is forbidden [job 31: 1 ~ AMP: I dictated a covenant (an agreement) to my eyes; how then could I look [lustfully] upon a girl?] Verse 2 from amplified using "lewd" explains the context of desiring sex with an unmarried lady outside of marriage.
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[Job 31: 2 ~ AMP:For what portion should I have from God above [if I were lewd], and what heritage from the Almighty on high?]
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[Job 31: 11 ~ NLT: For lust is a shameful sin,
a crime that should be punished.]
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[Job 31: 12 ~ AMP:For [uncontrolled passion] is a fire which consumes to Abandon (to destruction, ruin, and the place of final torment); [that fire once lighted would rage until all is consumed] and would burn to the root all my [life’s] increase.]
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[Job 31: 9 NLT: ...or if my heart has lusted for what my eyes have seen,...]
So, the issue isn't necessarily what you see or the mental picture in your heart but the lust that follows.
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nowhere in the Scripture does it forbid a single man from having sexual desire toward a single woman, or being turned on by a single woman, or even sexually fantasizing about her. The same goes for a single woman: nowhere does the Bible condemn a single woman for being turned on by viewing the body of a single man. In [1 cor 7: 9, 36, 37, 38],
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7. ~ AMP:But if they have not self-control (restraint of their passions), they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame [with passion and tortured continually with ungrateful desire].
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36. ~ NLT: But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancee improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin.
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37. ~ NLT: But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry.
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38. ~ NLT: So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.
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Paul, rather than rebuking those that were burning with sexual desire, he encouraged them to go and marry as long as it wasn't against God's relational standard. [Heb 13: 4] establishes God's relational standard.
Whore mongering (sex outside of marriage)
Marriage (sex within marriage) ~ which is the God approved
Adultery (a man having sex with another man’s wife)
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