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TOP 50 VERY SHORT FUNNY CHURCHY JOKES - comedy pills; laughing tonics, clean jokes

I saw one of my secondary school mate this afternoon😳 and she mistook me for "Jesus Christ" She was like Jesus is this uπŸ˜‰
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Eating suya with a friend that paid for it is really stressful, you will be asking the Holy Spirit, “Lord, is it the right time to pick another piece?”
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at home you can't sleep without switching off your small radio but you can sleep in Church with 8 loud speakers blasting in your ears. It is called Demonic soft work
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If u are broke right now and won't mind having 7k. Send your account details fast. let me add it to my prayer pointπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‡
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DO YOU KNOW THAT PIDGIN WAS FIRST USED IN THE BIBLE? "we be brethren" Gen 13:8 .
Hahahaha now you know!!!
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If your name is "JOY" and your boyfriend ask you to come this night,tell him that your Bible made it clear that JOY cometh in the morning. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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Instead of feeding the 5000 hungry people like what Jesus did". Many pastors of this generation are being fed by the 5000 hungry people. Na lie?
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I just wish my bank acct can touch d garment of Jesus😭😭😭
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90% of girls on social Media are beautiful but .. If you meet them in person you will give your life to Christ πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜‚
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How do you expect the feet πŸ‘£ that don't not carry you to church , to carry you to heaven ?
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Bae: At 25, a guy should have his own apartment, a good job, his private business and at least two cars. Me: Calm down babe. Jesus is over 2000 years old and still in His Father's house
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Churches should Stop men from using Bible Mobile Apps while the sermon is ongoing, 90% of them are checking livescores. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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These days before people tell me about their problems, I list all mine for them. We end up praying for each other
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Nope! I can’t go to hell, Satan still has that restraining order against me
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I have never seen a tombstone that said, “Died because I didn’t forward a message to ten people”
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Not everyone who checks up on you actually Cares..some want to confirm if their witchcraft worked.
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That embarrassing moment when you're seated beside your crush in church and then your kid bro came running with #20 note in his hands... "Brother.. mummy said I should give u for offering" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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Dear Lord, please tell the tailor in heaven to make my white garment a fitted one, not like the one I do see in Nigeria movies. I cannot be in my father's house and be wearing oversize like maternity gown. 😁😁
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I just wish my bank acct can touch d garment of Jesus😭😭
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90% of girls on social Media are beautiful but .. If you meet them in person you will give your life to Christ πŸ˜’πŸ˜’
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FAITH = My brother even if u re unemployed, Wear suit and carry πŸ’Ό briefcase Enter town and confuse your enemies
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Churches should Stop men from using Bible Mobile Apps while the sermon is ongoing, 90% of them are checking livescores. πŸ˜‚
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GOD IS LIKE OXYGEN, YOU CANT SEE HIM BUT YOU CAN'T Live WITHOUT GOD! Stay humbled.
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When the church cameraman is your boyfriend you appear more frequently on the church screen than the preacher.
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My brother just came back with his girlfriend today, now they have been here staring at me for the past 6hours they think I'll go outside to give them privacy Ah cannot support evil .God forbid!!!
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Those of you that used to cry😒😒 during worship and then sleep😌😌 during Sermon What is your Problem?
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Some people will be busy taking down notes in church as if they would read it later.
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Some girls will be like I want a God fearing man. But two weeks after accepting your proposal she will be asking for iPhone rather than King James Bible... πŸ˜†
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Go out there and hustle otherwise you will end up shouting every Sunday "I RECEIVE!"
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Ruth and Esther made first moves on the men they eventually married. They are the only women who have Books in the Bible. My dear sister enough of the pride.
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Happiness is when you are sitting next to your landlord in church whilst you haven't paid your rent and the Pastor says,''Tell your neighbour Jesus has paid my debt''.
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Preach because you're chosen, not because you're unemployed.
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Stop squeezing ur offering money before putting it into the box, God is not a Nigeria police officer
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When LOT'S wife turned back and became a pillar of salt....... I was wondering who turned back to confirm it? πŸ˜’πŸ˜’
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There is no natural death in Nigeria ...Your enemy is always the cause of your death.
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My sister don't be fooled by these guys, Not all men in a suit are rich some are Choir members. Hahahaha
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A slay Queen's Facebook name
At 18 :Baddah lucios pwedy chomzy
At 28 :Boss lady chommy
At 38 :Chioma Jesuuu
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They say that you can never love someone whom you have never seen, I just smiled and said, "I have not seen God, but I love him."
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Assuming people can fear God the way they fear soldiers Dis life for never spoil reach like dis
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My ex name is glory and am dating another glory , does it mean am moving from glory to glory ??πŸ˜„πŸ˜„
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Guy U have toasted 25 girls in a month & none has agreed. Can't u see womanizing is not ur calling? Why not try evangelism?
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EASTER = By this time 2,000 years ago Judas Iscariot don receive alert
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Even on the last day some girls will snap selfie at heaven gate then post online and caption it " Too much sauce too much juice with my ghost pals... chilling at heaven gate waiting for heavenly gateman.... # sexy curvy ghosts creamy corpse durrrhhh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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You Distract people by your late coming to church ,And Walking like Contestant number 1... Sister You better change
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I wonder how people that were owning Lazarus πŸ’° money felt when Jesus raised him from death
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Still wondering what METHUSELAH was doing on EARTH for 969 years without ELECTRICITY and DATA for BROWSING.
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FAITH = Wooooooooow Can't wait to have my first πŸš— car I just bought the πŸ”‘ key today
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The more you meet people the more you understand why Noah took more of Animals instead of Humans into his ark...
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I never hear pastors preach about the maps behind the Bible,I think they are hiding directions to heaven.
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Next time that i Enter plane ✈️ if we get to the Sky, I Will Escape Through The Back Door And Enter Heaven.😁😁
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