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TOP 50 VERY SHORT FUNNY PARENT-TEACHER-STUDENT JOKES - laughing tonic, comedy pills

That awesome moment When the teacher says stop clicking your pens, you always make sure you click it once more
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They say you’re what you eat; it’s funny cos I don’t remember eating a genius
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I don’t have my homework because I ate it
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TEACHER: If “can’t” is short for “cannot”, then what is “don’t”” short for?
PUPIL: Doughnut
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PARENT: What did you learn today?
STUDENT: Apparently not enough. We have to go back tomorrow
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You are the reason I wake up every morning.. lol…just kidding. I have school
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Too many of today’s children have straight teeth and crooked morals
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95% of the teachers act fake when the principal enters the classroom
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SON: Dad, there is a small get together tomorrow at school; please come
DAD: What do you mean by small
SON: Only you, me and the principal
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The difference between school and life:
In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson – Tom Bodett
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PUPA: Heard your girlfriend died trying to jump over the grand Canyon, how are you doing?
EGGISTU: I can’t get over it
PUPA: It’s O.K. neither could she
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Hey Google. Why don’t you sit next to me during my exams?
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When I say I miss school….I mean my friends and the fun. Not the school
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HOMEWORK
No one notices when you do it, but everyone notices when you don’t
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Nothing is really lost until your mum can’t find it
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My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it’s never found again
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Sometimes, I forget how to spell a word so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it
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If I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t, then damn it; I’m doing it
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Sometimes. Life bites you in the ass. But thankfully I have enough padding there to take the hit
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Those 13 year old girls talking about “I Need a Man who….”….No you just need to do your homework.
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You know you’re in trouble when they call you by your full name
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PARENTING HACK = When punishing your kids, don’t take away their electronics. Just take their charger and watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly dies.
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EGGISTU: Teacher!
TEACHER: Yes,
EGGISTU: Would you punish me fror sing I didn’t do?
TEACHER: Of course not!
EGGISTU: I didn’t do my homework
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You don’t know something GOOGLE it, you donit know someone, FACEBOOK IT. You don’t find something…..MOM!
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MY MUM TAUGHT ME:
RELIGION – You better pray that comes out of the carpet
LOGIC – Because I said so, that’s why
IRONY – Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about
WISDOM = When you get to my age, you’ll understand
JUSTICE = Mum telling you One day, you’ll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you
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If sleep is good for the brain, why is it not allowed in school?
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I still laugh when the Ketchup bottle farts
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5 KINDS OF FEAR = Panic, terror, 15 missed calls from mom, Wrong password, We need to talk
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When you beat up your classmate and the teacher calls the principal
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HOMEWORK: Because 7 hours of school wan’t enough
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That moment when you help your mum to shout your siblings names and she be like "Oh you're even there Oya come and do it"πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚
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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher!
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So far so good, Toilet is still the best place to chew Stolen Meat😹😹😹
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All those #Students that use to go and tell Teachers that we have "Free Period" so that they can come and use it... I hope you have now become Ministers of information! Ndi araπŸ˜ πŸ˜ πŸ˜ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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Just because your mum counted the meat in the stew, you now use your teeth to slim fit the meats. Weldone oga tailor
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In African homes,
First born => Assistance Parent
Last born => House help
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It is only in Nigeria that you will see a woman beating her child to stop crying...!!!
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In Nigeria d only time ur younger siblings will believe u re really sick is wen u remain food for them
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My first relationship heart break was in primary school Wen she left me for the guy who wore new school uniform
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That moment You have visited your Rich relatives and they serve you 2 slices of bread,1 fried egg and a cup of coffee.... "Boom"...the child come and asks you :"Uncle, so are you going to finish all these?". You end up saying "No,I won't"... But deep down your heart,you say ", I finish a Loaf alone, at home what is this?" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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There should be a section in exam answer booklet where you write things that you know, but wasn’t set. Just to show that you at least read.
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Some pikin intonation be like "Palents risten to yo childlen" "We are the lizard of tomollow" 
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It doesn't matter what you did. Just know you're in trouble if you come back, and find your mum standing like thisπŸ‘‡πŸ˜‚
😠
<))>
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TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
STUDENT: We don't call them, they come on their own...
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I miss those days that all you needed for a girl to like you was New uniform and a fine handwriting.
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TEACHER: How can we keep our school clean? *Student*: By staying at home... 😬😬
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For those people who helped my parents to catch me whenever they wanted to beat me, How is life in Police and security industry?😠
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Black parents will always say they don't have money until you are admitted in hospital then they will bring you all the nice things that you have never tasted before
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Black parents are dramatic sometimes just imagine taking a remote to their work place just to punish you
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STUDENT: "How do you put an elephant in a fridge?"
TEACHER: "I don't know."
STUDENT: "You just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!"
TEACHER: "Ok, ask."
STUDENT: "How do you put a donkey inside the fridge?"
TEACHER: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in."
STUDENT: "No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in."
TEACHER: "Ooh...ok!!"
STUDENT: "Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?"
TEACHER: "The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals."
STUDENT: "No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge."
TEACHER: "Are you kidding me?"
STUDENT: "No sir, 1 last question."
TEACHER: "Ok!"
STUDENT: "If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?"
TEACHER: "There's no way, I would need a boat to cross."
STUDENT: "No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party..."
TEACHER: "I have my own question, if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person..."
STUDENT: "No idea sir..."
TEACHER: "It's you because you are on two weeks suspension."
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