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TOP 5O VERY SHORT FUNNY FRIENDSHIP JOKES - laughing tonics, written comedy; laughing pills

Real friends don’t get offended when you “insult” them. They smile and call you something even more offensive
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A good friend is like a bra; hard to find one you’re comfortable with. Always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart.
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When I miss you, I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot
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Can I borrow a kiss; I promise, I will give it back
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Instead of saying LOL, I’m going to say SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more truthful
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Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…..alone
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Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes
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We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up….after I finish laughing
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I hate you, and then I love you. It’s like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.
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Rain is not only drops of water. It’s the love of the sky for Earth. They never meet each other but send love this way
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I may be a sweet girl, but…. If you make me mad, I have a pocket full of crazy waiting to come out.
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KISS ME:
I can’t taste my lips, please could you do it for me
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Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we would be put I IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL
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Never stick your tongue out at someone you can’t lick - Sid Bolon
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Dear LOL, Thank you for being there when I have nothing else to say
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There’s only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in half. I don’t want two of you around.
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Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh
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NORMAL FRIEND: Wow! You’re so pretty
BEST FRIEND: Shrek called; he wants his face back
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Friends are like boobs. You got big ones, small ones, real ones and fake ones.
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SELFIE = Me and my friends everytime we meet
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I’m an odd combination of really sweet and don’t mess with me
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I’m a “call me when you get home so I know you made it there safe” Type of person
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If you hurt my bestfriend, I can make your death look like an accident
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That moment when you and your bestfriend can say one word, and crack up
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You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now
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I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
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OFFERED COOKIE FROM A FRIEND:
ME: Thanks
OFFERED COOKIE FROM MY BEST FRIEND:
ME: What haveh you done to it?
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When I text you a massive paragraph and you reply 40 minutes later with “k”………Are you asking to be punched?
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My favourite kind of pain is in my stomach. When my friends make me laugh too hard
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There is always that one person who catch you doing something weird
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Never let your friends feel lonely….Disturb them at all times
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True friends don’t judge each other…..They judge other people……Together!
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No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with
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I’ve enjoyed not hearing from you
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There is no”U” in awesome…..but there is a “ME”
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Do you ever listen to a story and think lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!
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Love me and I will move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me and I’ll drop those mountains on your head
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Never let your friends lonely….Disturb them at all times
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My maturity level depends on who I’m with
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I don’t hate you. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence
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When I text you, it means I miss you; when I don’t text you it means I’m waiting for you to miss me.
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FRIEND: Are you free tonight?
ME: No, I'm expensive
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Remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English
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I hope we’re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people…
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Friends go like the waves of the ocean but the true ones stay…..like an octopus on your face
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I’m actually a very nice person until you piss me off
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When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s cute. I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a date
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Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you
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I hate it when I think of something really funny then I say it and it’s rubbish
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CAUTION = You might get addicted to me
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