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TOP 5O VERY SHORT FUNNY PUN AND WORDPLAY JOKES - laughing tonics; laughing pills; written comedy

When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter
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How did two crazy men go through the forest? They took the psycho path.
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If you can't manage a relationship, you can try other SHIPS like. internship , kingship or fellowship
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Sex education should be taught in school but the children must not be given homework
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What’s the worst thing about Ancient History Class? They tend to Babylon
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Relationships are like black people , most of them don't work..
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Life is very funny if you take the time to watch it.
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I was motivated to be different in part because I’m different
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Yeah, I’m sorry; I can’t afford a Ferrari. But that doesn’t mean I can’t get you there
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I used to have a handle on life; but it broke
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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera
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If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart
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It’s all shit and giggles until someone giggles and shits!
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I miss you like an idiot misses the point
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My Dentist told me I needed a crown, so I felt like a king
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When you are stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelt backwards is desserts
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Dear haters, I couldin’t help but notice that “AwesoME” ends with “ME” and and Ugly starts with “U”
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I’ve taken up photography because it’s the only hobby where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail
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I told a chemistry joke and there was no reaction
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A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice Jester
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How do you make Holy Water?....You boil the hell out of it
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What’s the best thing about elevator jokes; They work on so many levels
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Can February March? .. No, but April May
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How did the trees feel in Spring? .. reLEAVED
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I gave all my dead batteries away today; free of charge
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The new restaurant on the moon had great food. There’s just no atmosphere
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What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up
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How do you count cows? With a cowculator
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Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack
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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator
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Never trust an atom; they make up everything
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I saw a kidnapping today but decided not to wake him up
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Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
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Should you ever need an Ark, I Noah a guy
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I wondered why the football was getting bigger and then … it hit me
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Why did the baker have to go to work everyday? He kneaded the dough
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Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned
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Why did Santa go to college for music? To improve his wrapping skills
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Why did the electron have no friends? He was always negative
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If a clown farts, Does it smell funny?
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I can’t stand being in a wheelchair
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Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? As for me, I do
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Why did a man put his money into the freezer? Because he wanted hard cold cash
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What did water said to boat? Nothing, it only waved.
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Why don’t two skeletons fight with one another? Because they both don’t have guts
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What did a fish say at the time of swimming into the wall? Dam
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How do prisoners communicate with one another? With the use of cell phones
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What will you get from pampered cows? Spoilt milk
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What do you get when crossing a snowman with vampire? Frostbite
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Where do snowmen keep their money safely? in the snowbanks.
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