What does love look like?

It has the hands for helping others, feet to hasten to the poor and needy, eyes to seek solution to problems, ears to pay attention for joy of others. That is what love looks like.

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Only real Nigerians:
1.    Check the expiry date of gala after eating it.
2.    Go to church with extension and BB charger (charging in His presence)
3.     Update on BBM "about to cross" get hit by a car and still update "dying tinz"
4.     Say an opening prayer at a night club.
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PREPARATION FOR PERFORMANCE - get inspired series; he who fails to plan is planning to fail

Look before you leap because prior proper preparation prevents poor performance. Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out. Since you've got the ability to feature in the future you picture, bear in mind that  it's not wise to feature in a future with an unclear picture

It's either you are remembered for the problems you created or for those which you solved. Identify your areas of strength and concentrate on those areas in which you can make a major contribution. Never forget that the best angle to solve a problem is the "TRY-angle".
Imitation is limitation! Be an original and not a photocopy. Don't live the life of another. Your significance isn't in your similarity to another but in your difference from another. Be normal and the crowd will accept you, but be deranged and they'll make you their leader. The moment you stop trying to become a better person is the moment you start becoming worse than you already are
Never doubt your potentiality. Learn from the butterfly; if it had doubts, it would have lived and died a crawling caterpillar. To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people exist; that is all. Life is a gift, take it. It is a puzzle, solve it. Life's simple, use it well. You've got only one life, so do all you can do while still alive
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The Past is a nice place to visit, but never the best place to stay. Today is the result of your past while your future depends on today.The future is more important than the past since ending well is more important than starting well.


The winner in a race is judged by his/her end results. So many people don't live for today. They are completely consumed with the future and yet it's how we live today that creates our future. Everyday is an opportunity for a new life so live a new and better life daily. Your actions of today is what affects your future.Neville Goddard once said, "Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself." Jerry Spinelli once said, "Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don't rent them out to tomorrow." The sages say, "Your life is in your hands."
The outcome of your future lies in your hands. What actually lies in your hands is the way you live today. In summary, the way you live today is in direct proportion to your life's future outcome. Living life to the fullest starts from living today to the fullest. Everyday brings a new day called a "TODAY". Tomorrow will be the new day called "TODAY". Since today will always be made available as a new day, then it means you'll never stop living life to the fullest. Take advantage of what you have while it lasts

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3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them , "We have reached our destination".
The 1st guy gave him money while the 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
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A man was about to check into the Sheraton hotel when he noticed a very beautiful woman staring admiringly at him. He walked over and spoke with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked in as Mr. and Mrs.
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One day Santa called his home and the servant picked up the phone.
Santa : Where is my wife ?
Servant : She is with her husband.
Santa : Fool, I'm her husband !
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Baba God, I deh hail oh, u too much 4 my life, I loyal like loya milk, na why I dey call you jehovah talk and do, Jehovah effizzy,
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One Of The Popular Chapter Is Psalm 23, Which Reads:
1.    The Lord Na My Shepherd, I Dey Kampe.
2.    E Make Me Sidon For Where Betta Dey Flow And Come Put Me Next To Stream Make MaiBodi Thermacool.
3.    E Panel Beat Mai Soul Come Spray Am White, Come Dey Lead Me Dey Go Through Express Road Of Righteousness For the Sake Of Hin Names....
4.    Walahi! If I Waka Pass Where Arm Robber, 419 And Juju People Boku, Come Even Join Boko Haram, Reach Valley Of The Shadow Of Death Sef, Mai Bodi Dey Inside Cloth. Your Rod And Staff Nko? Na So Dem Dey Like Back Bone Dey Comfort Me.
5.    You Don Prepare Good Food On Top The Table Make I Chop. All Mai Enemies Dey Look Waa Waa. You Rub Me For Head Wit Holy Ghost Refreshing Lotion. Mai Cup Com Full Like River Wey Overflow Hin Bank.
6.    True True, Betta Life And Mercy Go Gum Mai Back Till I Quench. And Man Pikin Go Tanda For God House From Lai Lai To Lai Lai.
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Teacher: who is a pharmacist?
Akpors:  (raise up his hand....)
Teacher:  so, is it only Akpors that knows the answer ? So there is nobody else to answer the question except Akpors?
(there was no reply from the students)
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There are (4) friends living together in a house. There names are Mad, Nobody, impossible, and Somebody. One day Impossible left home with his girlfriend while Nobody was fighting with Somebody. He mistakenly stabbed him. Mad tried to calling the police:
Mad: Please is this the police
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Eggistu, Akpors and Alinco went to rob a supermarket at night. They decided not to give an answer to any question if they were unfortunately caught. A neighbor saw them, called the police and unfortunately for them they were caught.
POLICE:     [to Akpors] What's your name? .... (There was no answer).
POLICE:     [to Alinco] What's your name? ... (He didn't respond either).
POLICE:     [to Eggistu] What's your name?
EGGISTU:     Akpors and Alinco did not mention their names, so why should I?
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Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Alinco walked
straight to the ugly girl.
Alinco:         Hello!
Ugly girl:     Hi!!
Alinco:         Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl:     Yes (excited)
Alinco:         OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend.
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Puppadon: Take this N150,000, go to computer village and buy me a quality laptop with a big RAM.
Eggistu: Okay!.
Eggistu didn't return after two days, so Puppadon decided to reach him on phone.
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Two Boko Haram boys were making letter bombs.
1st Boy: I’m not sure I put enough explosives in this envelope before i sealed it.
2nd Boy: “Well, then open it and check it.”
1st Boy: “But if i open it, it will explode!”
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At a table in a candle-lit restaurant, a man and woman are having dinner, and the following conversation ensued:
Man: Baby, i love you; will you please marry me?
Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap on his face) I have waited more than 9yrs, I have prayed, fasted, sowed seeds,
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A bushman finds a mirror in the veld but he doesn't know what it is. He gets a shock when he looks into the mirror and sees his father who is dead. Every time he misses his father he looks into the mirror and cries his heart out.
His wife couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed the mirror from him and looked into it. Very angry she screamed at her husband - 'You fool, who is this ugly woman you are crying for?.
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During a robbery in Lagos, Nigeria, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank, "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you." Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "MIND CHANGING CONCEPT”
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A man was sick and tired of going to work everyday while his wife stayed at home, he wanted his wife to see what he goes through and so he prayed, "Dear Lord,I go to work all day and put in eight hours while my wife stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please switch her body to mine for a day, as I take hers. Amen!


So God in his own infinite wisdom granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He cooked breakfast, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, feed them, pack their lunch, drove them to school, came back home, picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaner, went to grocery shopping, drove home and put away the groceries, cleaned the cat's little box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1:00pm. He quickly went to make the bed, do the laundry, swept and mop the floor. Ran to school to pick up the kids. Got into an argument with one of them. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organised to do their home work. Then set the ironing board and watched TV, while he did the ironing. At 4.30pm, he began peeling potatoes and washed the vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chop and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, put them to bed. He's exhausted, and though his daily chores wasn't over, he went to bed and was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaints.

Early morning, he woke up and quickly knelt down by the bed and said;"LORD, I don't know what I was thinking, I was wrong to envy my wife being able to stay home all day. Please let's trade again. Amen! God answered, "Man, I'd like to answer your prayers but the time you made love, you got pregnant, so you have to wait for nine months to change. Respect the woman, she's the pillar of the house.

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Commotion by the noise of the norm
Brings confusion in the choice of some
But the correction of the voice of wisdom
Gives solution to rejoice in the kingdom

Seeking life's treasure in the best rate
Making your exposure up to date
Striving with a measure of faith
To achieve in the closure of fate
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LOVE - defining love; part two (02)

part 1,   part 2


Love's the key
To really be
Above the stormy sea
As we sail on God's mercy


The way you feel
Despite it's burning zeal
Will be no big deal
If it isn't real

An attraction
Without Love's conception
Is deception
That Leads to the heart's infection

Though Love is interesting
What is it's meaning
Is love a feeling
Let's visit it's beginning

Oh! What's even it's essence
How's it's preference
Has love got a defence
Does love make a difference

The law of love and attraction
Has been in operation
Right from creation
From God's action and reaction

There's no fear in love
Since the source of love
Who sits on the throne of love
Is Love; God is love

You don't love when you fear
Fear makes the road unclear
Places you at the rear
To make despair come near

Love has a connection
With genuine satisfaction
Love's intention
Is your Joy's perfection

Love's full of gratitude
Which elevates the altitude
Of your attitude
In a hopeful magnitude

Love is reduced when you hate
Hatred which erupts anger in a rate
That feels your heart's slate
With thoughts that irritate

Love's a force
That can carry any cross
Without a feeling of loss
It's the most powerful force of course

part 1,   part 2

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THANK YOU LORD - a praise and worship series at pengaze.com

Though days have gone by
I won't say goodbye
The passing years ask why
My resolve shouldn't die

Christ's my solid ground
The best one I have found
He turned my life around
To hear this joyful sound

I see some on sinking sand
But He is the rock on which I stand
On my way to the promised land
My life is in His hand

Many have tried
All their best to hide
From life's rising tide
All the same they died

Despite His Lordship
He offered me friendship
He's the safest ship
That the oceans worship

No surer anchor
To stand the oceans core
None other can love more
Than this king I adore

The lifter of my head
Life-source to the dead
My way's perfected
When I'm by His Spirit lead

I still ask myself why
This great Elshadai
Decided to lift me high
Beyond how I could try

His great sacrifice
Was the huge price
That shut Satan's lies
To unveil the blue skies

Just as he vowed,
He freed the crowd
That were lost in the cloud
The deliverance was loud

Only a great fool
Wouldn't count it cool
To be grateful
For a freedom so useful

Here I am
To thank the great I AM
He's the I AM THAT I AM
Who has delivered me from all harm

Year after year
He's always near
To hold me dear
Driving away fear

Month after month
I see Him in front
Increasing my font
And providing all I want

Week after week
He keeps me unique
I'm no more weak
But moving to the peak

Day after day
He leads my way
So with Him I'll stay
Never to go astray

Oh My God
Thanks for your word
Oh! Thank you Lord
For being my God
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  1. Charlie Chaplin once won the third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
  2.  Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".
  3. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
  4. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
  5.  The shortest English word that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E, and F is "feedback."
  6. All Polar bears are left-handed.
  7. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
  8. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
  9. Almonds are a member of the peach family, and apples belong to the rose family.
  10. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  11. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable".
  12. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10
  13. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  14. Alfred Nobel, in whose name the Nobel prizes are instituted, was the inventor of dynamite.
  15. The planet Venus does not tilt, so consequently, it has no seasons. It is the only planet that rotates clock-wise.
  16.  Honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil.
  17. The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
  18. Molecularly speaking, water is actually much drier than sand.
  19. Human tonsils can bounce higher than a rubber ball of similar weight and size, but only for the first 30 minutes after they’ve been removed.
  20. US President John F. Kennedy was an accomplished ventriloquist.

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AMAZING FACTS - four (04)

  1. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. No one knows why!
  2. The "spot" on the 7-Up comes from its inventor who had red eyes – he was an albino. '7' was because the original containers were 7 ounces and 'UP' indicated the direction of the bubbles.
  3.  Chocolate can kill dogs, as it contains theobromine, which affects their heart and nervous system.
  4.  Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of plaster.
  5. There are only two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'
  6.  If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
  7. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow film down so you could see his moves.
  8. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
  9.  By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
  10. Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed.
  11. Coca-Cola was originally green.
  12.  Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.
  13.  Contrary to popular belief, the white is not the healthiest part of an egg. It’s actually the shell.
  14. Nearly three percent of the ice in Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine.
  15. Hot water will turn into ice faster then cold water.
  16.  "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.
  17. Like fingerprints, every person’s tongue print is different.
  18. No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
  19. The tongue is the only muscle that is attached from one end only.
  20. Pumice is the only rock that floats in water.

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AMAZING FACTS - three (03)

  1.    The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
  2. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
  3. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
  4. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
  5. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from the blowing desert sand.
  6.  TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
  7. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
  8. Money isn’t made out of paper. It’s made out of cotton.
  9. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
  10.  The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
  11.  Camel’s milk does not curdle.
  12. Your foot is the same length as your forearm, and your thumb is the same length as your nose. Also, the length of your lips is the same as the index finger.
  13. Natural pearls melt in vinegar.
  14. Buttermilk does not contain any butter.
  15. The human brain is 80% water.
  16. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right while women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.
  17.  Human fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
  18. The Great Pyramid at Giza in Egypt holds a constant temperature of 68 degrees Fahrenheit.
  19. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
  20.  Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age.

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ALINCO: Meet my Wife Jane.
EGGISTU: Oh! I know her.
EGGISTU: We were caught sleeping together.
ALINCO: What?? What the hell?
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There was a house of a drunkard with a very big hole dug in it. One day he came back very drunk and this was what happened.
DRUNK MAN: Open the door.
WIFE : Today I'm not opening the door I'm tired of your drinking.
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A GIRL WITH FOUR FRIENDS - So what has she really done wrong

There was this girl who had four boyfriends. She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him with the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best. She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms.
However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another. She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times. The girl's 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another. She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her.


Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times. The girl's 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone. ' Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart. The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold. She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated. Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the girl said,'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives: Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others. Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave. And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day

Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.
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AMAZING FACTS - two (02)


    1. Butterflies taste with their feet.
    2.  A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for (1/100)th of a second
    3.  It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
    4.  Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
    5.  Minus 40 degrees Celsius is exactly the same as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.
    6.  No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
    7.  Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump.”
    8. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
    9. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    10. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
    11.   It takes approximately 2 million flowers for a bee to make 1 pound of honey.
    12.  Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
    13.  It is physically impossible to urinate and give blood at the same time.
    14.  The letter J does not appear anywhere in the periodic table of the elements.
    15. The right lung of a human is larger than the left one. This is because of the space and placement of the heart.
    16. Watermelons, which are 92% water, originated from the Kalahari Desert in Africa.
    17. The hair of some cancer patients treated with chemotherapy can grow back in a different colour, and sometimes even be curly or straight.
    18. The markings that are found on dice are called "pips."
    19. 111,111,111x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678
    20.   If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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AMAZING FACTS - one (01)


    1.    Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
  2. The Barbie doll’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
  3. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.
  4.  Ants never sleep!
  5. When the moon is directly overhead, you will weigh slightly less.
  6. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
  7. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
  8. “I Am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
  9. Babies are born without knee caps – actually, they’re made of cartilage and the bone hardens between the ages of 2 and 6 years.
  10. Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
  11. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
  12.  Leonardo Da Vinci never signed or dated his most famous painting, the Mona Lisa.
  13. The ampersand (&) was the last letter of the Latin alphabet.
  14. The palms of your hands and the soles of your feet cannot tan, or grow hair.
  15.  Dolphins can swim and sleep at the same time, as they sleep with one eye open.
  16. Each nostril of a human being registers smell in a different way. Those by the right nostril are more pleasant than the left.
  17. The longest single-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
  18. The word “Checkmate” in chess comes from the Persian phrase “Shah-Mat,” which means “the king is dead”.
  19. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:  Spades – King David, Clubs – Alexander the Great, Hearts – Charlemagne, and Diamonds – Julius Caesar.
  20.  In Gulliver’s Travels, Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than.

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I'M A WINNER MTN Project Fame West Africa 2010 finalists Featuring : CHIDINMA, KESSE (GHANA), EYO, YETUNDE, TOLU, OCHUKO

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh }3ce

Verse 1

I climbed so many mountains this time
I fought so many battles, but I came through stronger
I race across the finish line,yea/
I can hear the cheering crowd/
And that only means one thing



I can't let my breath go/
I cannot believe no
Is it really me? oh/ I'm a winner
I can hear the drum roll/
Feel my body explode
Gotta let the world know/ I'm a winner


See my name in gold I'm a winner
Let the whole world know
I'm a winner
Even when my chances go thinner
In the end I know I'm a winner
So let the lights go up/
Let the crowd stand up
Then you hear the sound of a winner
Let the lights go up
Let the crowd stand up
Time to take a bow, I'm a winner
Yes o, Yes o, Yes o, Yes o, Yes o, }2ce
Yes/ I'm a winner


I've seen so many come and go......
Enough to make me give up/
But it made me stronger
No way I'm gonna let this go/
'Cos the taste of victory is so much sweeter


I can't let my breath go/
I cannot believe no
Is it really me? oh/ I'm a winner
I can hear the drum roll/
Feel my body explode
Gotta let the world know/ I'm a winner


If you know you're a winner/
Let me see your hands go oh oh...}2ce [by Eyo; Tolu ]
If you know you're a winner/
Let me hear you say '' Yes o '' !  (Yes) '' Yes o ''
(Where're the winners at ?)
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh }3ce
(Where're the winners at ?)

{ CHORUS }2ce

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THE FUTURE - BY TY BELLO, Inspirational Lyrics

We are the future
We are the dream
We are the nation
We are part of this

Yes we are so amazing
That's the least we shall be
At the heart of the nation changing history

How can they say that we are finished
We have just begun
When we have no where else to run to
We have no where else to go

So get out of the way
Out of the way of the land of our dreams
We are the nation, we are part of this
We are the nation, we are part of this

Ooooh, Carry the song
Carry the sound
The future is here
The future is here
Goodbye yesterday
Tomorrow is now for the taking
The future is here
The future is here

I am the future
I am the dream
I am the nation
I am part of this

Yes I am so amazing
That's the least I shall be
At the heart of the nation changing history

The future
The future has
The future has come

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Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Alinco walked
straight to the ugly girl.
Alinco:         Hello!
Ugly girl:     Hi!!
Alinco:         Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl:     Yes (excited)
Alinco:         OK, Go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend.
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A (90) year old man marries an 18 year old lady and goes to a doctor.
MAN: My 18 year old wife is pregnant. What's your opinion, doctor?
Dr KAPPUDON:     Ok, Let me tell you a story;
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Akpors was arrested by the police and taken to court.
Magistrate:  Akpors, you were arrested on the expressway for abruptly stopping your car in the middle of the road and causing (10) other vehicles behind you to run into one another
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Akpors sat in a bar and was very moody. Alinco goes over and asks, " Akpors, what happened?" Akpors replied, " I borrowed Kappudon N2 million  for  face-surgery, and now I can't recognize him to collect my money back.
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Akpors was enjoying the sun at the beach when a lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Akpors replied; "No, I am Akpors".
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GIRLFRIEND : (Low Voice) Sweetie, Last night I had a dream about you.
ALINCO: (excited) Oh, Tell me Something Honey...
GIRLFRIEND: I dreamt We were traveling in a bus, Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
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Eggistu, a house boy usually sneaks into his master's room to drink his wine. After drinking his master's wine, he adds water to top it up. One day his master bought a new wine called pasties; a french wine that changes colour if water is added to it.
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Simbi: Ali says I'm pretty while Eggistu says I'm ugly. What do you think, Akpors?
Akpors: A little bit of both. I think you are pretty ugly.

Akpors: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation.
Doctor: Yes, of course.
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*Girl is crying*
Dad: Why ya' crying?
Girl: My boyfriend dumped me!
Dad (Grabs shotgun): I'll be back...
*A while later, dad comes back*
Girl: What the hell! Why did you kill him!
Dad: I didn't!
Girl: Where did you go, then?
Dad: To get you ice cream of course.
Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot  gun!?
Dad: So I could get it for free!
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A poor boy was in love with a rich man's daughter.One day the boy proposed to her and this was the girl's reply, "Hey! Listen, your monthly salary is my daily hand expenses. How can I be involved with you..?


How could you have thought of that at all? I can never love you; so just forget about me and get engaged to someone who's else at your level”

Somehow, the boy could not easily forget about her. (10) years later they stumbled on each other in a shopping mall. The lady again said,"Hey! You! How are you? Now I’m married and guess what ? My husband’s salary is $150,700 per month! Can you beat that? Not just that actually; he is also very smart you know"

The guy’s eyes got wet with tears on hearing those words from this same lady. A few seconds later, her husband came around and before the lady could say a word he started speaking with delight on seeing this same guy, “Sir, never knew  you’ll be here. I'm delighted about you meeting my wife” Then he turned and said to his wife, "This is my boss and I’m also one of those working on his $10 billion project I was telling you about! I've never seen a man so loving. Can you imagine the fact that he has remained unmarried on purpose. My boss once loved a lady but couldn’t win her heart. That’s why he has remained unmarried ever since. How lucky the lady would have been, if she had married my boss? These days, who would love someone that much?"

As he said all these to his wife, she only looked in total shock without uttering a single word. Such is life.
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Musiphat goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide. Alinco is the Librarian…
Musiphat:  Pls do you have a book on suicide ?
Akpors:  Why do you want to read a book like that ?
Musiphat:  I want to commit suicide!
Alinco stares at him and says, come on, get out of here! Who will return the book when you're dead?
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To:        Bill Gates Microsoft
                    From:         Alinco
                    Subject:     Problems with my new computer.
            Dear Mr Bill Gates,
    We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
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Alinco's dad (Mr Kappudon) converses with his son
Kappudon:     Alinco,I learnt your JAMB result is out.
Alinco:         Daddy can you remember John who always comes first in our whole school
Kappudon:     Yes, yes
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BOY :     Do u have a boyfriend?
GIRL:     No, i don't have one.
BOY :     Gen 2:18, "The lord God said, it is not good for a man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him."
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Name :    wife
Symbol : Wi
Atomic Weight    : Don't Even Dare to Ask!
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Eggistu converses with his father
Eggistu: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married
Kappudon: I don't know son, I'm still paying
Eggistu: So, you mean you're still owing ?
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Akpors:     Excuse ma, if you mix omo and klin detergents together, will there be foam?
Teacher: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the beginning of the year,
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TOO LATE - One of those had I known stories

There was a guy who was tired of reading his girlfriend's messages like, "I love you.",  " I miss you.", " Have you eaten already?" One night, he received a message from her but didn't open to view it.
Instead, he went to sleep.

In the morning he was awakened by a call from her mum crying while telling him that his girlfriend was raped and killed that night when she sent the text message to him. He remembered the message and went to read it, "Baby, please come here and help me, there's someone following me on the street that's immediately off yours!"
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FUNNY THINGS MOST AFRICANS DO - funny jokes at pengaze.com

⦁    Arriving late to an occasion just because we feel others would arrive late too - AFRICAN TIME.
⦁    flashing another phone with  a private number.
⦁    Talking at the top of your voice when on phone.


⦁    Wearing sun glasses at night.
⦁    Running in the rain even when already wet.
⦁    Answering questions with questions.
⦁    Using 'o' at the end of everything.
⦁    Calling every elderly family friend uncle or aunt.
⦁    Travelling to South Africa for one week and returning with an American or British accent.
⦁    Sewing uniformed outfits for everyone during special occasions.
⦁    Habit of crushing chicken bones and fish bones due to Calcium
⦁    Habit of inviting people to occasions someone else invited us to.
⦁    Our Mothers remind us of  their nine month pregnancy when we refuse to go on errands for them.
⦁    Seeing a person awake in the morning and still asking him/her "you don wake?"

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A father wanted to read the paper, but was being bothered by his little daughter, Susie. Finally, he took a sheet out of his magazine, on which was printed the map of the world. Tearing it into
small pieces, he gave it to Susie, and said, "Go into the other room and see if you can put this together."


After a few minutes, Susie returned and handed him the map correctly fitted together. The father was very surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. "Oh", she said, "on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got Jesus in His place, then the world was fixed all right."

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GET INSPIRED - inspirational poem to get you inspired

Image result for get inspired

I dare your idea to find expression without express shun
The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a step
Winners never quit just as quitters never win
Not a crime to go slow as long as you go steady
It's true that whatever goes around comes around
Life's an echo, all comes; the good or the bad
Give the world the best you can and the best will come back to you
The sages say that Applied knowledge is light
And solving problems qualifies you to solve more complex problems
To be a genius is the ability to put into effect what is in one's mind
Talent does you no good unless it's recognized by someone
Learning is a treasure that accompanies its owner everywhere
The poorest man on earth is the man without an idea
If you want to keep your footprint in the sand,don't drag your feet
Remember that the tough gets going when the going gets rough
Never lose hope once you've still got the gift of life
Remember that the things that matter most must not be at the mercy of the things that matter the least
And the greatest mistake in life is being alive without an ambition.
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Emeka: Hi! Akpors, what's up?
Akpors: Not to bad.
Emeka: Why are you looking so dry?
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IRONY OF LIFE - What is your definition of selfishness

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She once told her boyfriend,
"If only I could see the world, I would have married you."


 One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, would you marry me?" The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

 Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying, "Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine." This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift, so before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.Before you complain about life, think of someone who died too young. When depressing thoughts seem to get you down, Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you ain't just alive but have got hope too.
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You don't have to start a dialogue with a cow just because you want to eat beef. No matter how violent the wind may be, it can never force the river to flow backwards.
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7-D's - (feat. BJ)


D,D,D,D,D,D,D,....D,D,D,Deitrick Haddon

[Verse 1]

I Ain't Change
Cos I Got Folks Singing My Name
(Singing My Name) (Yeah)
And As A Matter Fact I Had To Go Through

A Little More Pain (More Pain)
And As I Win One Soul
I'm Doing What God Call Me To Do
Um.. I Do Whatever It Takes
To Get The Word Straight To You


[Verse 2]

When People Tell Me That
My Music Changed Their Life (Change Their Life)
Said Man Your Music Made
Me Go Home To My Wife
And There Were Two Songs
That Took Me Through My Greatest Test
And When I Here Those Testimonies
They Let Me Know That I've Been Blessed (Ooh)



Ohoooo Ohooooo Ooooooooooooooooo


[BJ:] Man Ain't Nothing Changed With The Live
We Save
From Night To Day We Give Christ The Praise
No Matter The Cause We'll Carry The Cross
Those Lyrics Insane(Yeah)
You Ready To Tell Em' How You Feeling
[Deitrick:] It's Been A Long Time Coming
I'm Here Now
From The Streets To The Church I'm All In
Ya Ears Now
With A Whole Revolution In Gospel Music
We've Got Gospel Moving
I'm Just The Vessel That God Been Using Bj
Tell What God Been Doing
[BJ:] We've Been Changing Up A Storm
Broken Lies And Rumors
Yeah I'm Here To Show Em' That God Really Cares
That He's Already There, I Already Told He's A
Sinners Prayer
So Give Me A Beat And I'll Keep On Rapping
[Deitrick:] And I'll Keep On Singing
[Both:] And We'll Keep On Bringing
[Deitrick:] Like Gospels Like Apostles
Just Adding Tracks So Step Back
[Bj:] I'm Here To Let You Know That
D. Hadd Is Back Come On

[Chorus: Till Fade]

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Divine Acronyms of Peace - Fruit of the Spirit; Spiritual

       P    -    protected
     E    -    entirely
A    -    and
C    -    calm
          E    -    every time

          P    -    practically
               E    -    empowered&
A    -    ain't
       C    -    confused
 E    -    easily

P    -    peace
            E    -    everlasting is
          A    -    available to
C    -    calm
              E    -    every believer

      P    -    prayerful
         E    -    every time
A    -    and
             C    -    comfortable
           E    -    every hour

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Joy 6

J    -    Jesus'
O    -    ordained
Y    -    youth
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Joy 5

J    -    joy
O    -    overcomes
Y    -    yokes
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Joy 4

J    -    joy's
O    -    operation
Y    -    yields
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Joy 3

J    -    Jesus
O    -    overcomes for
Y    -    you
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Joy 2

J    -    just
O    -    obey
Y    -    Yaweh
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Joy 1

J    -    joy to
O    -    overcome is
Y    -    yours
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Love 10

L    -    love
O    -    outshines
V    -    vanities
E    -    everyday
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Love 9

L    -    love's
O    -    operation is
V    -    very
E     -    expedient
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Love 8

L    -    love's
O    -    outstanding&
V    -    very
E    -    exceptional
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Love 7

L    -    love
O    -    openly
V    -    vindicates
E    -    everyone
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Love 6

L    -    love's
O    -    often
V    -    very
E    -    effective
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Love 5

L    -    love's
O    -    operation's
V    -    valid
E    -    every time
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Love 4

L    -    love
O    -    opens
V    -    veils
E    -    entirely
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Love 3

L    -    love
O    -    often
V    -    values
E    -    equity
Read More »

Love 2

L    -    love
O    -    offers
V    -    vivid
E    -    explanations
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Love 1

L    -    love
O    -    opens
V    -    visions
E    -    easily
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Marriage life

You've got to know
How to take it slow
With the rhythm of the flow
In order not to spoil the show

Before you cast a stone
Think of your own
How you flopped in the zone
That time you felt you were alone
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Making it

Though the rest may jest
Know you're different from the rest
Great to function at your best
Cool to aim to be first

Just move on
'Cos there's a lot to be done
Why mourn
When victory's about to be won
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I Wish She Was My Girl - emotion and feelings series; pengaze.com

The girl I've found
Is so profound
Her fame's all around
Crested to the ground

I can tell
Of her charming spell
For which I fell
Oh! It still rings a bell

Got a special effect
Of unique intellect
Her physique's perfect
More than what you'll expect

Endowed with grace
What a charming face
Even where she stays
Is a glorious place

Colours of the rainbow
Despite the raining snow
Beautifies this show
'Cos of this Angel I've come to know

Got the strength of "Nikita"
Heals like "Yoyo-bitter"
I enjoy chatting with her
And following her on tweeter

She's simple
Got no pimple
And excites people
With her dimple

The style she has
Is of first class
Transparent as glass
Just the perfect lass

She's a friend
I'll always defend
One to commend
'Cos she doesn't pretend

I'll do all I require
In order to acquire
This girl I admire
The one lady I desire

From what I'm passing through
I can surely tell you
That my love for her's true
I wish she likes me too

Easy going
And quickly growing
Overhead my pals saying
That she's quite loving

Though shy
She isn't sly
She's got an angel's eye
That'll attract any nice guy

Got a unique physique
Beauty not by the boutique
Character that's fantastic
Never seen a lady that classic

Oh! Wonderful angel
I wish she was my girl
Oh! Beautiful damsel
I wish she was my girl
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Marriage; Force or Choice

I desire nothing more
Than a promise that's sure
A real anchor
That holds to the core

No need to hide
Let's just ride
Side by side
In a smooth slide
Read More »

MR. WIZZY - emotions and feelings; chastity series at pengaze.com

Mr Wizzy
Take it easy
With all this "effizy"
Not to go dizzy

Don't make your wife's heart sore
Play no more
With the dirty whore
To be a better man for sure

You met her at the pub
Just imagine the hub
You enjoy her at the club
While your wife's now the snub

Some drinks for her to pop
As the D.J. tunes it up
Starting with a "what's up"
Till you no longer can stop

When you stoop so low
To go deeper than below
Something you should know
Is you'll reap what you sow

Now, what's this tension
Putting you in detention
What's this emotion
Of lustful deception

Since she's a slut
Forget she's hot
Or she'll take your wife's slot
Don't get your wife hurt

She's got no warranty
While your wife remains your guarantee
She's got no dignity
While your wife's a different entity

Her flavour
Is of spoilt savour
So make sure you endeavour
To do your self this favour

You'll have yourself to blame
If you're that lame
To let your story of fame
End with shame

Happy cheating on your wife
Nemesis has got a piercing knife
You're trusting your skillful strife
But forgetting you can't cheat life

Have you counted the cost
Of losing your wife's trust
Getting your home lost
All because of lust

Better join the winning team
To ford life's stream
Let love fill your heart to the brim
To cherish that one girl of your dream.
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Lustful Vanity

Isn't it unkind
When lust makes you blind
When Just her great behind
Is what fills your mind

Isn't it a waste
Of lustful taste
When all you see's her waist
Forgetting all that's chaste
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The Christian Soldier

Satan may be a jester
That tries to mock your star
But you have got a master
Who's the Alpha and Omega

Oh! I see them
Blinded by the system
Following the wrong anthem
Sinking in sin's problem
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Winners Never Quit

I've got a goal
Which I chase with my soul
Burns within as coal
Just for me to act my role

A great anticipation
That leads my vision
To the point of intersection
With my mission's destination
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STRANGE GIRL - sweet like potato but dangerous like calypso

Fresh like tomato, Sweet like potato
But not a place to sow, 'Cos she's dangerous like calypso
Maybe she's loaded, Don't forget she's also coded
Though perfectly situated, She's very infected;
If you can't handle titanic, Then, she'll make you panic
The eventual show's a trick, The aftermath'll make you sick
Disguises to be whole, But after a goal
As hot as coal, Not good for your soul

A charming photo, With an unknown lotto
Dancing in the show, That's all you know
An adventure for pleasure, Connects you to this whore
Willing to give it to you raw, Till all ends in an eye-sore;
Possessing the power of lust, And trying at all cost
To get your very trust, Just to get you lost
People say she's special, 'Cos she's so social
Like interracial, Her way's commercial

Anywhere she goes, Is where they rain the shows
Kills the shows with a dose, Of the best she knows
What a strange girl, Like a deep well
Though a beautiful damsel, she isn't an Angel;
She lives a double phase, Deceit in her ways
Twill really be a case, If she's the kind you chase
She'll willingly dance in the rain, Just for you but not in vain
Since her way's not plain, She could drive you insane
She'll paint your robe with stains, Drain joy from your veins
Disregard your pains, Just after her gains
She's a sharp knife, So run for your life
'Twill be a life of strife, To think she'll make a wife;
Her shiny eyes, Is full of lies
So be very wise, And think twice
They say love is blind, Yet, it's kind
So make up your mind, Not to be intertwined
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OPOMULERO - Remix by Angel (lyrics+audio) - naija gospel



he's my pillar (han-an-han)
ahaaaaaan (ahan-an-han)
pomulerooo (ahan-an-han)
oh yeah (ahan-an-han)


Said in my heart; And in my soul
Everything dey alright; I dey kampe (kampe)
O wa leyin mi; Oluwa mi
Baba mi; Mo tun so wipe
Said in my heart; And in my soul (my soul)
I feel so glad; I dey kampe (kampe)
O wa leyin mi; Oluwa mi
Baba mi (baba mi); Mo tun so wipe


Opomulero (ooh); Opomulero oh (kampe)
Opomulero; Tell them sey
Na im be Opomulero (he's my pillar); Opomulero oh (he's my pillar)
Opomulero (yeah); Tell them sey (ooh)


I stand on the rock (on the rock); The solid ground
Na him I know; To be my pillar (pillar)
Oluwa wa; Baba mi
I look them face; And I tell them say (oh yeah)
O wa leyin mi (oh yeah ); Oluwa mi (yeah ah)
Baba mi; Mo tun so wipe (so wipe )


Opomulero (omulero); Opomulero oh (omulero)
Opomulero (omulero); Tell them sey (omulero)
Na im be Opomulero (opomulero ooooh); Opomulero oh (omulero ooh)
Opomulero (omulero); Tell them sey (omulero)
Opomulero (omulero); Opomulero oh (omulero)
Opomulero (omulero); Tell them sey (omulero)
Na im be Opomulero (opomulero ooooh); Opomulero oh (omulero ooh)
Opomulero (oooooooh); Tell them sey (tell them sey)


I'm goin' to sey na im be my pillar (pillar)
He promised to stay by me when I halla
Halla heighehey (ahan-an-han,ahan-an-han)
 Heieghhey (ahan-an-han); Egba mi o (ahan-an-han)
Save me, save me Lord (han-an-han,ahan-an-han)
Egba mi o (ahan-an-han); Save me, save me Lord (ahan-an-han)
Everyday I watch and pray (watch and pray)
He's always there to save my face, always (always)
And there I stand and say (and say..oh yeah)
His faithfulness is everyday (ahan-an-han)
everyday (ahan-an-han); ooooh (ahan-an-han)
ho-ooo-hooo (ahan-an-han); I stand and sey

CHORUS once:

Opomulero (ooh); Opomulero oh (kampe)
Opomulero; Tell them sey
Na im be Opomulero (he's my pillar); Opomulero oh (he's my pillar)
Opomulero (yeah); Tell them sey (ooh)
Tell them sey; He's my pillar; He's my healer; He's my shelter
Tell them sey; He's around me; He surrounds me; He lifted me
Above all my enemies; Against principalites
He will never let me down; Because He's my pillar


Opomulero (omulero); Opomulero oh (omulero)
Opomulero (omulero); Tell them sey (omulero)
Na im be Opomulero (opomulero ooooh); Opomulero oh (omulero ooh)
Opomulero (omulero); Tell them sey (omulero)
Opomulero (omulero); Opomulero oh (omulero)
Opomulero (omulero); Tell them sey (omulero)
Na im be Opomulero (opomulero ooooh); Opomulero oh (omulero ooh)
Opomulero (oooooooh); Tell them sey (tell them sey)

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