VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - loaded laughing tonic series five; pengaze.com

I MISS MY FRIENDS

A Nigerian, an American, and a Chinese were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The Chinese wished to be back home. Poof! He was back home. The American wished to be at home with his family. Poof! He was back home with her family. The Nigerian (Akpos)  said, "Aw www, I wish my friends were here."

 

FRYING PAN TO FIRE

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

AKPORS VERSUS TEACHER

Akpors:     Excuse ma, if you mix omo and klin detergents together, will there be foam?
Teacher: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the beginning of the year,
are you going to pass this class at all?
Akpors : (whispheres) Such a dumb teacher, how can u get foam without adding water, are we going to know anything at all wit dis teacher?

LADIES AND MEN PALAVA

Two Women were chatting in office…
Woman 1:    I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Woman 2:     It was a disaster; My husband came home, ate dinner in 3 minutes and fell asleep. How was yours?
Woman 1:     Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house; it was like a fairy tale!

***************************************************

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..
Husband 1:     How was your evening?
Husband 2:     Great; I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. What about you?
Husband 1:     It was horrible. I came home, no dinner, the electricity was cut because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took my wife out for dinner which was so expensive that I had no money left for a cab. We walked home which took an hour and when we got home, I remembered there was no electricity and had to light candles all over the house!

Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is....