VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - loaded laughing tonic series six;


Akpors and his wife were in court for divorce. The problem was now about who gets custody for their child! His wife jumps up and says; your honor I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody.
The Judge turns to Akpors,
AKPORS: (calmly) Your honor, if I put my ATM card into an ATM machine and the money comes out. Whose is it? The machine or I ?



A couple agreed that whenever they wanted to have sex they'd say "Let's make a phone call"
One day the man sent his son to tell his mom while she was busy in the kitchen.
SON: Mom, daddy said you should come so he can make a phone call.
MOM: Go and tell your daddy that the network is busy.
DAD: Then tell her that I will go elsewhere to make the call.
MOM : Tell you daddy that if he does that, I will open a call center here


Akpors committed a crime, and was being chased by two police men. The police men chased him far and far inside the forest. Akpors climbed and hid on a tree. The policemen ran after him into the forest and stood right under the tree Akpors was on without knowing Akpors was above This was their conversation:

Policeman 1:     (telling policeman2) akpors has escaped lets go back.
Policeman 2:     (telling policeman1) OK lets rest bit under this tree

So the two policemen rested under the tree, not knowing it was the same tree akpors was on

policeman 1:     (telling policeman2) if i catch akpors, hm he will smell his anus.
Policeman 2:     (telling policeman1) Akpors is a fool, just watch, he will answer me when i call                                     him now
policeman 1:     You can give that a trial. Let's see if he is that stupid
policeman 2:    (shouting) Akpors! Akpors!! Akpors!!!

All of a sudden Akpors who was directly above them started laughing and said

Akpors:     If you like start shouting my name from now till next year, I won't answer you             because I am no more the Akpors of before. Old things have passed away. I have really wisened up.


POLICE MAN: Akpors, how did you kill 47 people in a car accident?
AKPORS: I was driving at about 40mph. When I tried to stop I found that my breaks had failed. I then saw two men walking on the street and a wedding on the other side of the street. Where did you expect me to have turned to ?
POLICE MAN:Of course, to the street with the two men to minimize the casualties; so tell me what the hell happened?
AKPORS: Exactly what I did; just that when I did it, I hit just one out of the two. The other one
ran to the wedding venue. I sped after him and mistakenly hit the people at the wedding
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