VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - laughing tonic (07)

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
EGGISTU: Because of absence
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
EGGISTU: No, but the kid who sits next to me was

TEACHER: Well, there is one thing I can say about your son
FATHER: And what's that?
TEACHER: With grades like this, he couldn't be cheating

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
TEACHER: That is impossible
EGGISTU: No, it isn't sir. I'm eight today

NEW TEACHER: Are you chewing gum
EGGISTU: No, I am Eggistu Kappu

(A dancing couple)
WIFE: I want to dance like this forever
HUSBAND: Don't you ever want to improve?

WIFE: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other
MAN: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth

EGGISTU: I love you, I could die for you
PEPISCO: How soon?

PEPISCO: Alinco says I'm pretty. Akpors says I'm ugly. What do you think?
EGGISTU: A little bit of both; I think you're pretty ugly

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave
EGGISTU: Yes sir
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't
EGGISTU: Yes sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours

ATEPO: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not!
ATEPO: Good!! Because I didn't do my homework

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Atepo's paper
EGGISTU: I hope you didn't either

EGGISTU: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I'm comfortably seated
PEPSICO: Awww, so what do you do
EGGISTU: I close my eyes

JUDGE: What are you charged with?
DEFENSE: Doing normal shopping
JUDGE: That's no offense; how early?
CULPRIT: Before the doors were opened.

Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone: Hi

TEACHER: Name one animal that lives in water
TEACHER: Add 3 more
ALINCO: His father, mother and sister

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When the devil brings fear,
Remember God is near;
He'll take off the doubt
And grant you the victor's shout

This is what I see
Because God covers me;
Mountains I know
Become plainly low

Satan'll try to make you sad
But remember God's the dad
Offering his helping hand
To always make you stand

Satan makes man shallow
While God makes him fallow,
Satan wants man fallen
But God wants him broken

Though man's unfit,
There's room to make it;
He'll cover more length
By depending on God's strength

No matter how dry a wood
God's power can make it good;
Though devil seems bold,
God's word gets him cold

Satan made man nothing
But God's gift made him something;
No matter what man does,
He musn't forget God as boss.
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VICTORY IS OUR CASE - I hail from the head not to be tail

I hail from the head not to be tail;
Though I'm frail, he makes me sail
Over sin's trail and death's nail,
He never fails so I don't wail

Today's the day to pray and say
May grace lead me all the way
To stay okay in God's pathway
And lay in Christ, not led astray

No other lover like Jehovah,
Sweetest ever and most clever;
He's made the problems over
And secures us with grace's cover

Standing the lion's den
Is not by how much men
But by God, like Daniel's then;
Den of men with much to learn

We got the grease for the race
To always face each life's phase;
To take our place in his palace
For victory is our case.
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