VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - christmas jokes; laughing tonic (17)

One turkey asks another, "Do you believe in life after Christmas?"

I heard some strange chatter from the spice cupboard mid-December. But it was just the Season’s greetings.

Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes in Christmas wrapping paper. When your child misbehaves, toss one into the fire.

Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas. Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.

EGGISTU: How do we know Santa is a man?
PEPISCO: No woman with an ounce of dignity would wear the same outfit for so many years running.

Walking down the street I wonder if at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus, or of General Electric.

I heard elves love to sing when they work on children’s toys. They are very good wrappers.

A boy is running around his yard in early December, chanting, “I SO WISH I GOT A NEW BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!” An elderly man watches him go on for a while, then comes over and says,
UNCLE KAPU: Son, what is this about? Santa ain’t deaf, you know.
EGGISTU: (out of breath, smiles) He probably isn’t, but my aunt, Tatafo is.

Christmases are always quite hard on the turkeys, but at least they don’t go hungry. In fact, they are stuffed since morning!

EGGISTU: Mum, are we going to have Grandpa Joe for Christmas?
EGGISTU: No, darling, Just the turkey.

Christmas is on my mind the whole 12 months before it comes. It is also on my Visa bill the whole 12 months afterwards.

EGGISTU: Dad, and where is Santa from?
MR PUPA: Well, judging by the majority of the gifts, I’d say he is from China.

Eggistu is by the Christmas tree
EGGISTU: And are all these gifts from Santa?
MUM: Yes, Ofcourse!
EGGISTU: Oh, so you didn’t get me a darn thing again this year, did you.”

MR PUPA: Boss, can I take tomorrow off? My wife really needs help with Christmas cleaning.
BOSS: Are you out of your head, man? I can’t give you a day off for this!
MR PUPA: (smiles, relieved) Oh thanks a lot, boss, I knew I could rely on you!

 Santa has a good employment package. 1 month – Santa Claus, 11 months – Santa pause.

Anybody who's still in the village after this week is no longer celebrating Christmas 🌲 He/she needs transport money💰. 🚶🚶🚶
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