VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - laughing tonic (10)

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

Eggistu breaks an old vase at his rich uncle‘s house. His uncle gets extremely angry and yells:
.
UNCLE:  Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!
EGGISTU: (sags in relief) Oh, good that it wasn’t new.

I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

A man goes to the lawyer:
.
MAN: What is your fee?
LAWYER: 1000 US dollars for 3 questions.
MAN: Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?
LAWYER: Yes, what is your third question?

TEACHER: Where were you born, Sir?
EGGISTU: In the United States.
TEACHER: OK, and which part?
EGGISTU: My entire body.

BUS DRIVER to passenger: Don’t you want to sit down?
PASSENGER: No, I am in a hurry.

MUM: Why did you put your teddy in the freezer?
EGGISTU: I would like to have a polar bear.

MAN: Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?
WIFE: No.
MAN: A garbage man. And you know why?
WIFE: No, why?
MAN: Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.

TEACHER: OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?
EGGISTU: HIJKLMNO.
TEACHER: What on earth are you on about?
EGGISTU: Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!

Daddy reads some bedtime stories to make little Eggistu fall asleep.
Half an hour later mummy opens the door quietly and asks: “And, is he asleep?”
.
Eggistu answers: “Yes, finally.”

PEPISCO: Is this insecticide good for mosquitos?
EGGISTU: Not at all, it kills them!

EGGISTU: I’ll call you later!
PEPISCO: Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Pepisco

PEPISCO: Are you alright?
EGGISTU: Actually, technically, I’m half left and half right.”

DAD: What is it?
EGGISTU: “It” is a pronoun.

EGGISTU: Would you like to hear a construction joke?
PEPISCO: Yes
EGGISTU: Well I’m still working on it.