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VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - laughing tonic (12)

PEPISCO: How does a monkey ring the doorbell?
EGGISTU: King Kong! King Kong!

DAD: All I hear is want, want, want. I need to hear some more about giving, too!
EGGISTU: OK, give me 20 dollars.

EGGISTU: Mum, where where you when I was born?
MUM: In the hospital.
EGGISTU: And daddy?
MUM: At work.
EGGISTU: That’s great. So nobody was home when I arrived.

EGGISTU: Why do you have such a big tummy, aunty?
AUNT: Because there’s a baby inside.
EGGISTU: Do you like babies?”
AUNT: Very much!”
EGGISTU: Well I still think it isn’t right to eat them.

TEACHER: Name me three African animals.
 PEPISCO: One lion and two giraffes.

EGGISTU: When I’m a grown-up, I’m going to marry Grandma!
DAD: (smiles), Come on, you can’t marry my mom.
EGGISTU: And why not? You married mine!

A little boy stands in front of a house and cries. A guy sees him and asks, “Why all the crying, little guy?”
“I can’t reach the doorbell.”
The man rings the bell for him and smiles at the boy. The boy smiles back at him and says, “Great, and now we just have to run away very quickly!”

EGGISTU: Mom, I have a good and a bad news.
MUM: OK, start with the good one.
EGGISTU: I scored an A in the math test.
MUM: That’s awesome Lisa! And what’s the bad news?
EGGISTU: “That this was only a joke.

DAD: Have you ever seen a little calf being born?” asks a farmer Little Johnny.
EGGISTU: No, how is it?
DAD: Well, first comes the front legs, then the head, then the shoulders and the body and finally the hind legs.
EGGISTU: Wow, cool, and how do you put it all together then?

PEPISCO: Your brother is so small!
EGGISTU: Yeah, he’s only my half-brother.”

Three bunnies want to jump a wall. First one jumps and clears the wall with a good 4 inch reserve. The second bunny jumps and makes it over the wall with a 5 inch reserve. The third bunny jumps and slams headfirst into the wall. When he wakes up, he says, “I must have jumped the highest. I definitely saw some stars.”

The combination of innumerable choices you’ve made in your life have brought you to this exact point, reading this exact sentence.

I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. The first thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance.

EGGISTU: Does your horse smoke?
EGGISTU: Well, then I think your stable is burning.

EGGISTU: I don’t think women should be allowed to have kids after 40.
PEPISCO: But why?
EGGISTU: 40 kids is way too much by any standard.

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