MY WOMAN - my everything

Pretty little cutie; the very queen of beauty
Angel in reality; You are love's identity,
Ever since I met you, love totally shined through;
The girl I call boo; the bae I call true

Since I ain't blind, I know you're one of a kind,
You are the best to find; your love blows my mind,
Incredibly beautiful; undisputably thoughtful,
Unbelievably cheerful; adorably peaceful
Preciously gorgeous; courteously courageous,
Spiritually religious with a smile that's contagious,
Creatively unique; attractively physiqued,
Selectively classic; proactively fantastic
Hotter than a hot tea; no wonder you're a hottie,
Sweeter than a sweet tea; no wonder you're a sweetie,
Uncapsized by the sex sea; you remain more than sexy,
You heal than Vitamin C 'cos you're the Vitamin Sea
You walk like a princess, your talks; they're priceless,
The way you work than others makes you rock like a goddess,
My words have come like menthol and I really meant all;
You should be a mentor to those who make their men tall
The bees call you honey because you make me horny,
You can't be bought by money so I propose on my "all-knee";
Say "Yes!" let's tie the knot; that I may clutch your thigh,
And ever remain high, by looking into your eye
And I'll take you as my wife and make Agape the wife-fee;
Take you as the wife I connect to without WIFI,
And I'll love you as my woman; my ever real thing;
Treat you as the woman; my everything.
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Beyond the big wedding, there is a strong welding,

A welding called marriage, a pity some end in mirage,

Don't embark on love's route without having its true roots

Difficult to bow to marriage vows when love's killed by false shoots



The sense of my rage is not the essence of marriage,

But going the extra mile just to make you smile;

'Cos you're the bone of my bone and not a bone of contention,

Flesh of my flesh and not a thorn in my flesh


Disagreements may set in to challenge this agreement,

If you have problem with someone, tell them and not the world;

The truth may hurt for a while; a lie may hurt forever,

So never let distrust to destroy this trust


Get up and take down strong holds; treasure your union as gold,

Sacrifice and service; that is what will suffice,

It takes two to tangle and acceptance to accept hands;

At least two parties needed to spark up the "one flesh" party


Amos three three is a must to thrill this tree;

Like a divine tree, let's call it harmony of three;

God's the third party; you need no other party,

Let God be in charge and let his love be your charge


God is the root and his love is the route,

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder,

If the husband is the stem, then the wife is his branch,

Raising Godly children as good fruits of fulfillment


When someone is quiet on you, their's always a reason;

Nobody's too busy; it's a matter of priority,

Don't just chat in your free time but free your time to talk;

A caring friend is a thousand times better than a careless lover


As husband and wife, we're two hands of the scissors

Only God's permitted to cease us as he sees us

Intruders come between us if we fall far apart

But God's hand brings us together to slice off misuderstandings


The bolt of friendship placed us both on this boat;

Christ is the chief sheep just as you are my fellow sheep

The best length of marital bliss is built on God's breath

And not on tensions that build butterflies in the belly


No wall of Jericho can come between us

'Cos I got unhindered access to the bank of your thoughts

Through a free flow of communication and trust

Which breaks all backbone of suspicion and assumption.


Title credits: Felix Sarah

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WHAT KIND OF BOTTLE ARE YOU? - an empty one or one content with its content

Imagine looking at a group of bottles from afar; all you see are bottles. On getting closer, you discover each bottle has a label and that label gives you an idea of the kind of content to find in the bottle. Now, imagine holding a bottle of pepsi; it has a content within, as well as a label without. On the bottle, the label "PEPSI" is certainly obvious which is supposed to be a reflection of the content within. If on tasting its content, you discover it tastes Fanta, then it's obvious something is wrong somewhere. Now, let's assume we all are bottles; the label represents our "ATTITUDE" while the liquid content represents our "character and distinguishing feature, values and temperament, likes and dislikes, goals and visions". The label is always the first point of attraction but the interaction and point of interest is often eventually with the content. If I say I love Pepsi, it will certainly not be because of the label (attitude), but the content (character and distinguishing feature etc.) In the same light, If what I seek is Pepsi and I see a bottle labelled Fanta, I will take that bottle as a no go area. Even if I'm persuaded to overlook the label 'cos it contains the Pepsi that I actually seek, the Normal average response is to forgo that advice and seek a Pepsi bottle with the right label. So the first point of this analysis is this; don't just work on your character and leave out your attitude. Your attitude often makes the first impression of you on others. So also, you have to live out your character in your attitude. Don't work on attitude and leave out character. Although attitude has a powerful impact at first sight, the weight of this impact decreases as time passes and as we get to know the person's character and values. Rather than fake, be real; let there always be a connection between attitude and character.



As a plastic bottle, all you have to offer is the content inside of you. If you get to someone's hand empty, then you are undefined without any value; either he puts a content that befits him which may not necessarily suite the make of the bottle, or he throws away the bottle. Meaning, if the bottle isn't thrown away as useless, then, it will just be used/manipulated to serve the means of the user. The case is different if the bottle has a content; this time, rather than being manipulated, 'twill be about what the bottle has to offer. So basically, you as a bottle attract people whose needs/wants are harmonised with your values. 


Values are the accepted principles or standards of a person. They represent your philosophy of life and form the basis of your stand on diverse life issues. It's with these values that you attract or repel people. Saying you love someone isn't just about the label (attitude, charisma, swag, brand etc.) on them as a bottle; it rather means you are saying that your values are in harmony with theirs. So, you can imagine what it means when a guy without defined values tells a girl he loves her. Falling in love is different from loving someone. Love happens after falling in love. Falling in love is all about the fantasies you paint about a person which is not necessarily true but sweeps you off the floor. It's about the label (attitude/unique feature) which catches your fancy i.e. appeals to your love language. Walking in love is about still loving them even after discovering that they struggle and have flaws; still willing to go for that "labelled" bottled drink again and again if you had the chance to repeat the process of choosing after tasting; yes! After having an interaction/relationship with the content in the bottle. That's the difference between love at first sight and love at every sight.


Many relationships last only for that infatuation stage I.e. the stage between being drawn to the label of the bottle and that of interaction with its content. Love is rare; If we truly knew what love meant, we wouldn't be too quick to say we love someone. A man is not designed to be intimate with a lady and not desire her bed in return, so a man of focus never stumbles into love but loves at the right time and in the right way. Get a life before you seek a relationship. Discover your values and temperament, likes and dislikes, goals and visions etc. And test their compatibility with those of the person you are falling in love with so as to ensure that your "falling in love" doesn't eventually turn out to mean "failing in love". Before you proceed in the euphoria of love, you must be ready to commit to a lifelong union.


We all have natural erotic feelings that link to emotional intimacy which in the long run ends in physical intimacy. INTIMACY is the feeling or atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else, not necessarily involving sexuality. It's a journey where what's hidden or locked is gradually revealed. EMOTIONAL INTIMACY takes place when two people exchange thoughts of mutual connection, share ideas of erotic feelings, and enjoy similarities and differences between their opinions while PHYSICAL INTIMACY takes place when you unveil your body in kissing, cuddling, romance or sex. Just as thirst for a cold drink (water, Pepsi, Fanta etc.) gets intensified in the presence of sunshine, the thirst for emotional intimacy gets intensified in the presence of the opposite sex you are erotically attracted to. A very thirsty man puts aside his priorities for diverse drinks while tempted by a very chilled drink as long as its content is drinkable to him not to talk of when the chilled drink is already in his possession i.e. already in a relationship. Just as any chilled drink can quench thirst, every normal person with emotions can easily engage in physical intimacy. If you aren't ready for harvest, why plant the seed? Why go where your legs can't carry the weight of your heart? If you're still on a dry fast (abstinence) and not thinking of breaking soon, why purchase that chilled drink you always fancied (i.e. why stumble into a relationship). It's advisable not to start a relationship you can't execute/conclude within a short period.


Once sex is all the fluid you can offer, you'd totally become an empty bottle in the hands of who seemed to be so attracted to you. So, it's necessary you work on your values so that you aren't just labelled/tagged as just any chilled drink that quenches the thirst of sex. Whether chilled or hot, sweet or bitter, any medicinal drink always has a value harmonised to the needs/wants of who drinks it.


No container is immune to puncture. Once there's a puncture as a result of things like neglect, rape, incest, heartbreak, betrayal etc., all the content of the bottle leaks out. And when the real you (i.e. your content) is gone, you start living in the shadow of a vacuum called negativity which is full of negativities such as anger,  insecurity, distrust, self-esteem, pride and emotional imbalance. No matter how much love you try to fill a broken bottle with, it will always leak off. It's appetite is never satisfied; ever seeking, ever controlling, ever manipulating, ever empty. As long as that leakage persists, you'd keep living in the shadow of the past. So unwhole and broken emotionally that, you start seeking a life to complete yours rather than seeking to complement another person. Treat your brokenness before you seek a relationship; what you are while single is amplified when you marry. How can a rabbit with a broken leg who challenges the tortoise to a race be sure of victory? The first step in solving a challenge is the identification of that challenge itself. So, what kind of bottle are you? An empty one or one that is content with its content?

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" be my lawfully wedded wife and vow to be loyal to you in every way, to comfort you, to cherish you from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, and always to love you till death do us part according to God's holy ordinance to this I pledge myself." The husband as well as the wife voluntarily and completely surrender their individual lives in the interest of the wider and deeper life which they now have in common. A life of sharing both the pains, frustrations, disappointment, victory, joy and happiness of each other. A life of seeking what makes the other happy. A life of total dependence on each other. "The greatest of all art is the art of living together" - William Lyon Phelps. God instituted the marriage union for just a man and a woman; and these two become one flesh, never to be put asunder. No room in a man's heart is created to accommodate equal matrimonial love for two women. "The most important thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother" - Theodore Hesbrgh. Scriptural mathematics says 1+1 = 1. So, each time you cheat on your partner, you are surgically seperating yourselves. Oh, how painful the operation as you cause your husband excruciating pain; as you cause your wife heartbreaking aches.



Lola, a mother of three, is no longer the happy wife and mother she used to be. Today, in the tenth year of her marriage, she's sitting in the whirlwind that threatens to blow her family apart. All the carefree laughter has deserted the family and her heart churned with questions she has no answers for. What went wrong? When did it all start? What has turned her loving devoted husband into a stranger? She had seen the tell-tale signs of infidelity - late nights, absent-mindedness, coldness, leaving home at the flimsiest excuse, never going out with her anymore, flaring up at the drop of a pin and so on. But, she never gave it a serious thought, thinking it was pressure of work until the bubble burst in her face and her world suddenly caved in. The discovery that there's another woman in her husband's life has brought her heartache, panic, shock, disillusionment and depression. She looked at the letter lying on the chair beside her. The one she found in her husband's coat pocket. She picked it up with trembling hands and read it again.


"My dearest,

     The doctor's report is out and it confirms that I am carrying your baby. I am the happiest woman on earth.

                  Your sweetheart,



The problem of Infidelity is timeless. No strata of society is exempted from this problem; not even the church has escaped from this scourge. Infidelity on marriage destroys confidence in the home. It destroys the very thing the marriage institution stands for. It shatters the peace and trust of the union. A man that looks outside succeeds in making his wife lose her self-esteem. She's no longer sure of herself and her standing with her husband, "If he loves me, he will not do this to me." Even when the wound is healed, the scar remains, "Can I trust him again? Will he not let me down again?" Trust which is a very vital ingredient is destroyed. So as a man, do not get too emotionally involved with any other woman asides your wife. If you are her spiritual leader, let whatever counseling be done with your wife in attendance or let a third party get involved. "The adversary would rather spoil one preacher's home than a dozen of any kind. In doing so, he has touched hundred of other homes. No home is under attack more than the preacher's home" - Anonymous. Most men get ensnared before they realise what they have done. The man may think he's being sympathetic or helpful, he may not realise when he crosses the bounds of reason. Do not be overconfident in handling issues that affect women. Don't assume you're happily married and nothing can happen to you. Realise that Satan energizes some ladies to come and deliberately entice men to cause them to fall. If emotions respect wisdom, king Solomon wouldn't have fallen victim. If emotions respect anointing and power, the dreaded Samson wouldn't have fallen prey. If emotions respect status, it wouldn't have had a grip on the famous King David. Be careful.


"A man should never be ashamed to say he has been in the wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday" - Alexander Pope. You should be open to your wife enough to let her know what temptation you are faced with. Let her know what steps she can take to help you overcome. Do not fight the battle alone; involve her.


"Without the way there is no going, without the truth there is no knowing, without the life there is no living" - Thomas A. Kempis. A husband and wife who are unfaithful to the bridegroom is bound to be unfaithful to each other


Lola moaned deep inside her being. Those words from the letter were like a dagger struck into her heart. The pain was devastating. Oh God! She moaned, except I wake up from this dream, I will die. I cannot survive this. But this was no dream; it was reality. How many women through the ages have carried this pain in their hearts, unable to express it in words? How many have whispered it into the dead of the night? How many have screamed it into their pillows in frustration? What would you do if you were in Lola's shoes?


"Prayer is the mortar that holds our house together" - St. Teresa. No matter the marital challenge you find yourself in, look into God for solution. God who instituted marriage from the beginning, who brought the first man and woman together as husband and wife and gave them a beautiful home, is able to mend the broken walls of your family. Handing over this problem to God means you will let Him handle it His way, not your way. His way is the way of forgiveness meaning you will have to forgive your husband and let all the bitterness drain out of your heart. "forgiveness means pardoning that which is unpardonable or it is no virtue at all" - G.K. Chesterton.  So forgive, and then lift him up to God in prayer, that God will transform his heart and make him the husband he should be. Don't forget to examine yourself honestly; what kind of woman are you? Many women have inadvertently driven their husbands into the arms of another woman. Do you show in practical ways, your love for your husband? Are you a warm, comforting and eager partner? Is the communication line between you and your husband open? Are you a good listener? Do you know that when a husband says, my wife doesn't understand me, he most likely means, she doesn't listen? The husband who feels right about sharing his innermost fears and hopes with his wife will probably never feel right about sharing his bed with anyone else. Are you appreciative of his efforts at caring for the family or you are always critical? Let your words lift up, encourage and praise your husband [Col 4: 6; Prov 15: 1; 21: 26]. Are you interested in the things that interest him? It is said that the wife of Albert Einstein was once asked, "Do you understand your husband's theory of relativity?" She smiled, "Oh, my, I just know how he likes his tea." That's a woman who adores her husband. Do you have time for him? Or, are you so engrossed in your pursuit for wealth, fulfilment in career, church activities, so much that you do not give adequate time to him and the home? (1 for 10: 24; Philip 2: 4) Are you submissive or rather a real nag; contentious and vicious? (1 Peter 3: 1- 4) Have you allowed your husband to be the head of the home so you could be the heart? Are you a good cook? Is it not true that many husbands have been lured away from their wives with good food? Is your husband pleased with your cooking? Here indeed is an instrument of great influence which you can wield effectively to win your husband. Thrill him with delicious meals. If you do not rate an "A" in cooking, you can learn; remember, you are fighting to keep your man and your home. Do not stop at cooking delicious meals but also ensure that meals are served in an attractive manner. Pimp up your dining table. What about your appearance; are you presentable and a wife he can be proud of? The importance of maintaining a good physical appearance can not be overstated. Many women give up soon after the first child arrives. The fact remains that husbands desire wives who are physically attractive to them. What do you look like when he comes home in the evening? Has he not been seeking outside what he cannot get at home? You have a duty to satisfy your husband's intimate needs and vice versa. Many times, a woman is so preoccupied with the problem of raising the children, coping with her job, finances, managing the home, emotional stress, exhaustion etc. that she neglects this area of marital responsibility. This however should be a matter of priority because it is easy for a man deprived of intimate relationship to feel insignificant, beat down, discouraged or tempted in this area of his being. You leave your husband open to temptation and your union to far more destruction than you can imagine, when this area of intimate communication is neglected. Take time to always prepare yourself and place for love. Remember, the tone is set right from the morning hours by your attitude. You can't be a shrew all day and suddenly become loving at night. This honest self-examination is not to bring about condemnation, so don't be disillusioned. Now, take positive steps to get out of self pity and enslaving bitterness; be determined to win your husband back.


"Every person is worth understanding" - Clyde M. Marramore. Assuming that every marriage which normally has its challenges and problems is dissolved for just any reason, thereby allowing either of the spouses to pick another partner of his/her choice, then what a confused society we would have. Imagine the pain and heartache to all members of such seperated families. When you "capitalise" on the ills or weakness of a partner which cause conflict in the home, 'twill be difficult to get a solution. God has called us to peace in such a case and not divorce and remarriage. (Rom 14: 19; Heb 10: 24; Mal 2: 16)

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Inspired by her tits to shine mischievous teeth,

Inspired by her buttocks to give cock and bull talks,

Going the extra mile to win her curvy smile;

If her hair is her glory, then their lies are the lice



Eyes on her like television, yet, she can still tell a vision;

They plan private invasion but she gives public inversion,

By giving a direct shun to men with no direction,

'Cos she's a woman that woos man not with tits but with wits


Single to mingle; be single but not stupid,

Though the jingle bells giggle; not amused by lust that's rapid,

Though Eros' heart may rain, let Philos' brain reign;

Be full yards husband material for your wife suited material


He searches for a helpmate and not just a roommate;

She searches for a real head who is distinct from the herd,

Though he's King of the jungle, she makes him fly like Eagle;

Though she's caretaker of the home, he is her caregiver


With legitimacy of intimacy, he walks all he talks,

With diplomacy of intimacy, he amuses his bedmate,

She puts his vision on her chest to keep his mission abreast,

Placing responsibility on her laps to cover for his lapses


The very big butts may not cover for the small buts

So she chooses the beauty that's without B-U-T;

A lady without core-rage for the man of courage,

A lady of respect for the man of honour


She forever keeps him company once he becomes C.E.O.

Yes! CHIEF that governs the house she turns to home;

EXAMPLE that guides the kids nurtured from her womb;

OFFICER that guards her heart from turning love's tomb.

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